im gay
i know
yea but for you.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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