I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
