Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
