we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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