Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
