i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
