you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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