Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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