As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize