A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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