Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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