You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
