i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
im drinking this country out of the recession.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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