We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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