i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
