Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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