Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
