Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize