Sry I called you an 8
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He did a backflip because drugs
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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