my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
