i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
