You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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