Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I want her autograph on my taint
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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