For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
