I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize