its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
