real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
As shirtless as possible
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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