dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
