Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
