physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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