they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
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