it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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