NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
