Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
