I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Use "feeling words"
Yay
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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