Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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