he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
