One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
