I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
