turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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