he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
