This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
sarcasm needs its own font
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
