I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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