She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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