he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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