I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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