Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
