ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
the day after is always just damage control
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
