i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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