I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
