is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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