the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
