8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
so let's talk penis.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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