Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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