Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
