either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
