We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
