i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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