You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
