That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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