Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
