Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
