I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
This toilet bowl is my home.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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