everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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