So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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