I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
