32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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