kristin has been a bad kristin
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
