He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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