"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
