Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
