We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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