i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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