I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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