Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
